Have you ever had a dream, a huge dream? A vision of what could be possible. Did you dare to imagine how it might be? Taken steps boldly towards it, only for it to be thwarted by things outside of your control?
Throughout my life, two of my most important values have been 'safety' and 'security'. Although they are still important it's in a different way. Over the past couple of years, I have learned to live with uncertainty and appreciate how resourceful I can be. I now know that I can cope with not having my own home, which was a huge experiment. I acknowledge that life is to be lived, experienced and explored.
Do I really want to get to my death bed and say 'well, at least I had security'? Or do I want to trust in the possibilities of what it is to be human, to make choices, to step out of my comfort zone, to be willing to cross thresholds to new experiences?
The disappointment today is hard but it's also a chance to pause and reflect, and to feel such pride in my son for what he managed to achieve in a few short weeks, to even make the vision a possibility. This is certainly not the end of a dream, but a bold and courageous step in the adventure called a life well lived.
It's making me wonder where I am hiding out, and what steps I can take now to test my edges and be of more use in the world.
Are you willing to cross thresholds, and test your edges by doing something new? Or, are you happy to stick with what is known and familiar? There is no right or wrong answer but perhaps being conscious of the choices you are making may lead you to a different decision next time an opportunity comes your way.
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